Fictitious Nonfiction: A Tale of a Ghetto City Part II

By Leigh


Things were good. Too good. The calm before the storm. The weather started changed as September came to a close. Jaime made it a point to prove that he was in charge; went from dressing like a normal 23 Year old to Don Juan. His oversized white tee had outgrown him but the flamboyant satin ones that he bought at the swapmeet fit just right. The white linen pants that he wore had to be creased and cuffed; like Tupac, the goal was to always look like Tupac.

He needed to show people that he was a boss. My half brother, Robert, had a friend that knew someone who’s cousin could help them get pounds of their own. They started transporting from San Diego around Christmas. I’ll never forget the first time they came home after a hit.

“C! Ay, C!” Heavy knocks pounded my bedroom door so hard I could have sworn it was the police. Before I reached the knob, the door flung open. Two clumsy giants stumbled into the room with black duffle bags. They were too eager to tell me what was going on, before I knew it, my bed was covered in bricks of light green marijuana. And it was all theirs.

“Now who the boss?!” Jaime gloated as he tore open one of the firmly compressed packages and began rolling up.

“Shut up stupid.” Robert packed their investment back into the duffle bags.

Somehow, they were able to move 6lbs in about a month. Once they ran out, the plan  was to take the money and reinvest but unfortunately the partners didn’t have the same intentions. Robert wanted out. It wasn’t really his thing anyways. I feel somewhere deep down he made that first move just to help Jaime.

Now Jaime was stuck between a rock and a hard place. He didn’t have the money to get another 6lbs or anywhere near that amount. The little money that he had made was quickly splurged on girls and alcohol. He needed a plan, fast.

Six months passed in a blink of an eye. My brother moved out of the house with his baby mama to the East Side. We stopped seeing him as much but we knew he was alive. Jay took a small leap of absence but I kept things afloat while he was gone.

Jaime started buying from Jay once he was back on the scene. This was keeping his image afloat but it wasn’t a forever thing. His regulars started disappearing. The crips two blocks over were picking up the slack where Jay wasn’t.

Jaime befriended one of my childhood friends, Christian, but everyone called him Tiny. Tiny was a cool guy; about his family and money. He got caught up in the gang life when he was 10 years old. He’d done a few bids in juvie and 3 years in prison for robbery. His name did not reflect his reputation; Tiny was well connected.

I’m not sure how it happened because around this time I met the girlfriend from hell and had my own drama. From what I heard, Jaime was able to convince Tiny to hook him up with his connect in Sinaloa. Jaime played the roll perfectly. He gained the trust of some smaller guys in the Mexican mafia.

“So are you ready to get that?” Tiny asked Jaime.

He had arranged for Jaime to pick up 6lbs of the best weed that Mexico had to offer. The agreement was that Jaime would meet with their friends from Mexico, give them $5,000, flip the weed, pay the connect. Because of his connection with Tiny, Jaime was finally going to be the hood Tony Montana.

“Yeeep. I’m more than ready nigga. Look at this.” Jaime pulled a stack of hundreds out of his pocket in a rubber band. He smiled, stuffed the money back into his pocket and took the last swig of his beer. He needed liquid courage. He got into his car, giving Tiny one more reassuring look before taking off.

The pick up was between Hesperia and Las Vegas. Usually a busy road, the 15 highway was eerily empty due to massive amounts of construction, plus who is driving to Las Vegas at 4am on a Tuesday. Behind him red and blue light began flashing. As he slowed the car and began pulling over, a black dodge pick up truck pulled beside him.

“Sigue el desvío!”

Follow the detour the driver yelled as he pulled ahead of Jaime’s car. About three miles down the road was a broken down, hand made detour sign with a guy waving it like it was a ad for a nail salon. He followed with caution, the dirt road came to an end shortly. The driver of the truck that had flagged him down was standing behind his truck bed. He seemed much older and taller inside of the truck but in reality, he couldn’t have been more than 19 years old. Before Jaime could come to a full stop, the young man walked over to his car, yanking open the back door.

“Aqui?!”

Jaime couldn’t move fast enough for the anxious young man. Before he could open his trunk, two overstuffed black Jansport backpacks sat in his back seat.

“Donde está dinero, cabrón?!”

Jaime shoved the money into his palm. Without counting it, the younger man shoved the money into his pocket. He walked with haste to his truck, started it and took off before Jaime could turn the key in his ignition. After picking up his accomplice, the two men headed towards Las Vegas.

Jaime pulled off the detour road, heading back to the hood with the biggest score of his life. It took everything in him not to call his boys for a smoke sesh but if he’d learned anything it’s TRUST NO ONE.

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A small diner was the first well lit place to stop and count the money. The two men in the pick-up truck knew what their responsibility was; make the drop, get the cash, bring it back to jefe.

Though they were alone, they whispered.

“Is it all there?” The passenger asked anxiously through a thick spanish accident.

The driver pulled the large wad of money from is pocket and began counting…100…200…300…320…340…390…400…401…402…403…404…

It was dollar bills. The entire stack was one dollar bills.

“Puta madre…”

The Creative Struggle

By Jenna

I live a good life. I have a wonderful husband and two fantastic children. We live in a one bedroom apartment with our dog and cat. My husband has a good job and I am a full time student. That last part is what makes our lives a little more difficult. Being a full time student and a mom has put me in a position where I need to be a stay home mom instead of working mom. Though the trials that led me to this position were less than friendly, I am almost done with school and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. The hardest part of being a stay home mom isn’t taking care of the children constantly, it’s the struggle to keep our head above water.

 

In 2014, my daughter was born. I had a good job working in hospice as a team coordinator. Right as I was asking to go back to work from a set maternity leave, not paid for by the company since they only would allow me to work per diem, the company advised me they were looking to downsize. Guess what that meant. The person who worked nearly 40 hours a week on per diem and had just had a baby was now the most expendable person in the company. My boss had refused to give me a termination notice for fear that I would take legal measures. I had begged her at least to write a letter for my apartment so I could get out of my lease. Without a job, we couldn’t afford my previous apartment. My boss refused and instead wrote a letter saying it was my decision to be a stay home mother instead of work. I cried because her lies and fears were controlling her actions to make my life harder than it was already.

 

I did not sue the company for wronging me. I did not have enough funds to hire a lawyer and I knew my heart couldn’t handle a new baby, searching for a job that would pay me enough, and a lawsuit. It simply wasn’t worth the misery I would have experienced. Instead, I went back to school. It was a long term goal of mine to have my BA in History. I chose history because I am passionate about history. I have one more year of school and I want to share how my little family of four survived this far on a single income in Orange County California.

 

When I started school, about 2 years ago, I was working a part time job making calls for a company, but wasn’t even making grocery money. This, plus my husband’s $20 an hour income was just enough to get us through my first year with our first newborn. Part way through the first year, we had to get creative with our finances because there was another baby on the way. We already had school debt from both my previous semester out of state, my husband’s education, and credit card debt from a vacation or two. Coupled with paying for my both of my children’s home water birth, we have been strapped tight with debt.

 

The first thing my husband started doing to help us is begin consolidating our debt. We were able to take out a bit extra in the student loans to cover some of our credit card debt and our children’s births. The student loans were at lower interest rates, and it allows me to postpone paying of that debt until I’m more financially stable. We have decided to stay in a one bedroom since we have that flexibility. We are in a downstairs unit with a backyard so we are as comfortable as we can afford for the short run.

 

As the years ticked by (I say that, but only 3 have passed), I was able to find cheaper groceries at stores like Aldi, how to make meals, where to find cheap and used baby clothes, and my husband was able to secure a bit of a raise. Even through all of this, he still had to get a second job. That is what being an adult is about though, I guess. Doing what you need to do, even though it isn’t fun or easy.

 

What’s the smartest animal? A fish because they stay in schools! Our visit to the Aquarium of the Pacific

By Leigh

IMG_9559Happy summer to all of our followers in the northern hemisphere! If you live in California, you are aware of the current “heat wave” which is just typical summer weather. To fight the hot and stickys, Jenna and I took a trip to the Aquarium of the Pacific with our children this past Saturday. As a child, I loved going to the Aquarium! All of the sea life and fun facts always aroused my little mind. Now that is a joy that I would like to share with my baby.

IMG_9486.JPGThe first thing that caught my attention was the massive reconstruction project. They are remodeling the front portion of the aquarium, unfortunately. The construction took away from the amazing structure but luckily it is temporary. The second ‘Woah’ was the entrance fee. For adult, child(3-17), and senior respectively, the prices were $29.95,$17.95,$26.95. I was not expecting those prices at all! But for a experience with my daughter, I’ll bite bullet.

IMG_9490.JPGThe first stop that we made was lunch! We stopped in to the Scuba Cafe to see what they had to offer. The menus was fantastic; not too complicated and just the right amount of items. I tried the fish & chips. Definitely try the fish & chips! The kids options were tasty as well.

IMG_9497.JPGAfter lunch, we headed to the exhibits. Jenna was our tour guide for the day. We were lucky to catch the end of the scuba diver show in the large tank in the main hall. It’s not very accessible for us stroller baring parents but there is a nice parking area for strollers on the first level if you are willing to live on the wild side.

IMG_9523.JPGThe new Frogs exhibit was nice for the 8 and up crowd. The exhibit hosts a large number of frogs, many too small for our toddlers to see. Our favorite exhibits were the Shark and Jellyfish, for obvious reasons. The kids loved being able to touch animals! 

Before you leave, don’t forget to validate your parking! It will save you so much money with the parking structure

Aquarium of the Pacific: A Member’s Perspective

By Jenna

Birthdays have always been a bit of a let down for me. This past year, I knew exactly what I wanted; a gift that keeps giving. I wanted a membership to the Aquarium of the Pacific so I could visit throughout the year. Our children are still under three, so we were able to get the dual membership, which is two adults for $110 a year. It has only been 6 months and I have already gone enough times to make it well worth the money!

IMG_9517.JPGThis weekend, me and the kiddos got to take an adventure with Leigh and her lovely family! Parking wasn’t as hard as I expected. Since there are constantly people coming in and going out, there were parking spots available while driving around the structure. I felt confident in passing a few spots further away for a spot closer to the elevator. Once Leah and her SO got to my truck, we let the other adults in our party care for our littles while we took a quick toke!

While Leigh got her tickets, I went through the Member’s entrance. Since I have been to the Aquarium of the Pacific a few times this year already, I was able to map out all the exhibits and stops we wanted. I did manage to get us lost once though, but I covered it up with a restroom break. We ate a quick, but delicious, meal at the Scuba Cafe before heading to the Sea Lions. We also got to touch the sharks and moon jellyfish! We explored the tropical climate aquatic life including the Frogs exhibit! I couldn’t leave without watching the sea otters cuddle and play though!

IMG_9588.JPGOn our way out we got our ticket validated so we only paid the $8 fee instead of the higher rate the structure offers. The kids ran around and admired all there was to see. I was surprised when my youngest showed so much more interest than my older had shown at the same age. We had a fun filled day, and I can’t wait to get out to the Aquarium of the Pacific again! Since I am a member, my visits can be as often as my kids can enjoy!

Fictitious Nonfiction: A Tale of a Ghetto City Part I

Please leave your thoughts/predictions in the comments. I appreciate all the love!
-Leigh
It’s funny to think back to a time before weed became so widely available. I remember when you could make an entire city jump if you had a bag. Me, being the hood entrepreneur that I am, found it a convenient form of currency. I could get anything; especially bitches, bitches will do anything to smoke. I was lucky enough to meet my connect at the right time. Before everything went to hell…
One unfortunate truth of living in the hood is that when you start doing better than the next, there will be haters; friends, family, EVERYONE will hate you and want to be you. You know mockery is the greatest form of flattery but flattery can easily become obsession.
I’ve been smoking since I was young, some say too young but what the hell? Can’t undo what’s done. It wasn’t uncommon to find me on my front porch surrounded by any number of people, smoking, drinking, living a ghetto fairy tale.
“You need weed? I know a guy.”
Everyone one knows a guy. But not like this guy. Jay was a lanky framed man in his thirties though his voice told a different story. His warm gap tooth smile was the first thing that I noticed as I walked to his van. As I got into the Astro Van, he stared at me with a cheeky smirk on his face.
“So you need weed? What you want?” Jay opened a small backpack with a large bag of weed and a scale stuffed inside.
“Ummm just a dime, I gu-”
“Nah I don’t do dimes. This is kush. It’s $25 a gram.”
KUSH?! I was used to smoking chronic at best. Though I’m heavy smoker, kush had eluded me.
“Oh, well give me 5.”
As he packed up my order, his grayish blue eyes peered up at me, his surroundings, then back to the mound of green gold in his lap.
“Ay! You want to buy some fireworks?”
That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Jay was always there when I needed him. He went from weed man to confidant. There was no male figure in my life so anytime a older man paid me attention, I held on. He was there when my ghost of a father came home from a 5 year long “work trip” with more baggage than he left with. The night he returned my mother broke the space heater on his head.
I ran.
I knew if my mother was standing up to the man that was so quick to strike her down, I had to run. I ran until my legs were no longer attached to my body. The wind splatter the tears on my face like rain on a windshield. As I ran past the liquor store on the corner of my block, a familiar voice stopped me in my tracks.
“My boy Charlie, where you goin’ in such a hurry?”
He wrapped his arms around my shoulder, guiding me to his van. We got in. Jay grabbed his portable DVD player and popped in the latest bootlegged film. The opening credits began to roll as I explained my troubles.
“I can solve all of your problems, but you have to be down. Don’t get yourself into something that can’t get out out of.”
My thoughts bounced between my dead beat dad, being poor and everything in between. I couldn’t afford to sell drugs but I couldn’t afford not to either.
“Look ma boy, I can’t help you with your issues with your pops. But I can help you bring in some extra cash. Want to sell for me?”
“Hell yeah Jay! I’ll sell for you!”
“Look lil nigga, this is big money involved. I don’t want to have to hurt you over this weed. If you think this is too much for you, it’s best for you to quit while you ahead.”
Jay reached behind my seat, handing me a black backpack. I didn’t need to look inside to know what was up. I was a drug dealer now.
Once word got around the neighborhood that I was selling weed, a sudden wave of popularity over came me; all of my friends loved me, I had more girls over in a week than I could count. I was the man! But soon, it became a “thing”. Meaning, everyone wanted to sell weed for Jay. Luckily, he knew better.
Not everyone was so smart. One of my closest frienemies, Jaime, found someone dumb enough to trust him with waaay too much product. Looking back on it, I was a small time dealer in comparison. Jaime went from the guy that always needed to borrow five bucks to having the flyest car on the block. Rumors were that he was working with some guys from Mexico with major connections. Nobody wanted to get involved because if there was anything we all knew about Jaime, he was trouble.
Everything thing was great. I had my clientele, as did Jaime. I wasn’t trying to make it rich from selling weed but he was. Jay was allowing me to make a huge profit; he only want $300 every Sunday. I made double that in a good week. It was a JOB: Just Above Broke.
“Yeah, he’s letting me do the pick up Monday. A kilo, dawg! You ain’t never seen that much weed in yo life!” Jaime boasted as he walked back and forth across my front porch.
It was mid August but it felt like the early days of summer. Guys on the block took the opportunity to walk around, no shirt only tattoos, bullet wounds, and prison battle scars.

All of my closest were packed onto my front porch, drinking and smoking. Our all day ritual.

“Nigga…you still gotta give most of that money to your guy. Stop boasting on someone else’s money.” Eddie, the oldest in the group spoke firmly. His chubby fingers rolled the best blunt in the city.

You could see the thoughts racing through Jaime’s mind as he mustered up a come back.

“Nigga, I’ll take the whole shit! What the fuck you think?! I ain’t got no dick and balls?!”

The porch fell silent; no one endorsed that idea. Jaime stopped in his steps. He didn’t even believe what he had said.

“Maaaan sit yo dumbass down!” Eddie waved him off, sparked the blunt and changed the subject. He started shadow boxing. His short arms moved as fast as the could, mimicking the professionals.

We changed subject but we knew. We knew that Jaime would do something dumb, it was a matter of time. That’s the unfortunate curse of the hood: if you say it, you gotta do it.

Thanks for fucking mom! Father’s day edition

By Leigh

fathers

You know what really pisses me off?

Dad’s that refuse to help with their children.

I’m not talking about deadbeats, I’m talking about those that refuse to make a bottle, change a poop diaper, lose sleep if the baby is cranky at night, etc, because it’s a “woman’s job”.

When did this become a thing? I guess it’s always been a thing, it’s new to me because I always assumed that a child is a 50/50 responsibility. My dad took care of me my entire childhood. He was not stay at home dad. He worked 40+ a week and still found time to bring me lunch, pick me up, do homework and be an all around friend. I guess my dad is the last of the Mahicans. These days, asking a man to even help a little is nearly asking for WWIII.

Come on dads. Would it hurt to give mommy that over due break? I can hear all the men shout in unison “YES”.

After I had my daughter, I had really high expectations for what was to come in the following months. I created this image of me and my SO (significant other) working together as a team so that BOTH of us could rest.

Did that happen?

HELL NO.

From day one, it’s been a 90% solo bolo job. Don’t get me wrong, he is a great dad. But at 3am, when you wake the baby with your snoring, I expect you to deal with the monster. Not turn over for your second dream, leaving me to suffer through the night. Oh did I include that I too, like my SO, I work full time.

Am I just complaining?

I am lucky enough to have the father of my daughter in my life, I commend all of the women out there that are doing it on their own. Raising children is probably the hardest time in the world, but you’re doing it. Don’t let the world get you down, you are the shit! Happy mother’s day, part 2!

To all of the father’s out there, even if you don’t do as much as you should at home, thank you for being there.

To my own father, my road dog, my first love: Thank you for being awesome! Even though you complain and act crazy, I wouldn’t change you for the world. My crazy Mississippian! I love you dad!

If you are a dad and you aren’t in your child’s life, here’s a big FUCK YOU from all the mom’s around the world!

Happy Father’s Day!

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You wouldn’t know unless I told you

By Jenna

I love my husband. He is intelligent (which is sooo sexy), optimistic, encouraging, and much more. The best part is that he loves and accepts me for who I am. He doesn’t have a veil over his eyes about me. He sees my flaws, and shows me how I am perfect. He is my opposite in so many ways. I have tattoos and piercings, I cuss, I drank too young, I smoked too young, I dye my hair crazy colors, and I overall am an outspoken person. He is not. He has NEVER uttered a cuss word (his sisters are my proof from his childhood). He doesn’t care for tattoos or piercings on himself, he didn’t drink before age 21, and he never smoked anything. I love weed, him… he hates the smell. He swears he would partake if he could cover up the smell.

I know what you’re thinking… WTF?! How do they even live together? Well, I’ll tell you how we make it work. From the outside, you can’t tell I smoke weed. Ya, I have tattoos and dyed hair, but by talking to me, you’d never know.

I keep my husband and marriage happy with one simple rule:

Clean the fuck up!

I have a full routine each time I smoke. So, without further adieu, here is how I trick the world and keep my hubby happy.

Step 1 – Get HIGH!

Roll Mr.J or two, pack a bowl, however you toke, get that ganja lit!

We good? You got that part down, huh? Yea, me too! Ok, let’s go to the next step.

IMG_5613

STEP 2 – Visine Ya’ll

Cherry eyes is cute, unless you need to convince a disapproving mother-in-law that you aren’t one of the evil people that smokes “Marijuana” (in the best Mexican accent I can muster). I’ve seen a post about a chick that does it before she smokes and after, I really think that is overkill. Once after you smoke is all you really need, until you smoke again. Ok, our eyes are clear, next step.

IMG_5712

STEP 3 – The Fast Wash

I keep a Dove bar soap on the sink because they are lightly scented and have done well in the past to combat my super oily skin. I also have used the soft soaps, but they don’t seem to do as well for my skin. Do a quick wash of my hands and face to get that sticky off. I don’t usually wear make-up, so the face washing isn’t an issue for me. For you beautiful people who enjoy decorating yourself, you can purchase the Clean & Clear oil absorbing sheets. Blot the oil away from your face without smudging your fantastic face painting. If I was better at applying make-up I would likely wear it more often. 

IMG_5713

STEP 3.5 – Brush Your Teeth 

I say this is 3.5 because I’m already at the sink. Brush your damn teeth, you probably don’t do it often enough anyway. If you can remember, floss too and your dentist bill will thank you. All of this feels so awesome while high! Brushing my teeth and washing my face makes sure I get lots of extra kisses from my honey.

img_5715.jpg

STEP 4 – Body Spray

I had to experiment with perfumes and body sprays. I love the smell of flowers, but in perfumes they smell like my grandma. I choose a fruity smell because they can be powerful enough to cover up my Cannabis flower smell. I found a body spray that does the job, but it is still not as strong as perfume. Yes, that is a Jessica Simpson perfume. 

IMG_5722

All of my actual clean up steps take maybe 5 minutes and make a difference to my honey. He can’t smell Mary Jane on me and I get extra loves. So, there you have it, I can trick the world into thinking I’m not a stoner and make my marriage a little less stressful. Do you have a routine that I should try? Let me know, I might do a video in your honor, shout out included!]

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Let’s Climb this Volcano! 

This year I promised that I would spend less time at home and more time in nature. With the beginning of summer quickly approaching, I feel that it is only appropriate to begin planning now. My goal is to take 1 big trip per month, through September. In doing this I hope to bond more with my family, sharing the true beauty of California outside of the city.
Our first trip will be to Amboy, California. I’d never heard of this place until I started doing research. Located in San Bernardino County, Amboy Crater has attracted visitors from near and far. Until the construction of Route 40 in 1973, this was a popular tourist spot for those traveling along historic route 66. Though born and raised in So Cal, I’ve never allowed my inner Louis and Clark to fully develop a hunger for exploration.

Amboy Crater is a 10,000 year old dormant volcano. Yes, you read that right, a volcano.

“Southeast of town lies Amboy Crater, a 246-foot basalt cinder cone. The result of several explosive eruptions, it’s accessible by two main trails — one easy and one difficult — and offers a perspective not only of itself, but also of the Mojave National Preserve and beyond.” (Thanks Desert America for the info).

We will keep you guys updated as the trip gets closer. Yay for fitness!

Any followers ever visit Amboy? Shoot us a comment with your story. We love to hear from our fans.

Make sure you follow us on instagram, @420somewherela

Touch my Body By Leigh

It took me 26 years to discover masturbation. I grew up in a world where ‘jerking off’ was common knowledge. The girl version was unheard of; thought it was impossible until I was in my early teens. It never really crossed my pubescent mind to explore my newly developing body. It wasn’t until I had my child that rubbing one out became appealing. My normally active sex life came to a halt!

In 9th grade, I met “J”,my first, while hanging out with my friends before homeroom. He was a short, stocky, fair skinned boy. I say boy not in reference to his sex but in reference to his maturity. Stuck in the middle of my newest faze, I thought his flaming metrosexuality was the exactly what I needed in my emo kid life. He loved me for who I was: the black girl in the tripp pants with the black lips and nails. “J “ was such a sweet guy. It was destined to crash and burn. Oh did I forget to mention he was a Jehovah’s Witness on top of everything. Looking back on it, he liked me because I was a bad girl. Maybe bad isn’t the right word…I don’t know but I was doing all the inappropriate stuff that the other girls weren’t, only with him. I would see all the guys standing around dapping him up when we would get off the bus after my latest “Oops! I dropped my earring!” stunt. I didn’t mind him sharing stories to stimulate their little perverse minds. I was a good girlfriend. I guess this is where I started building the idea “I’m a giver, not a receiver”.

Summer school between 9th and 10th grade was the best time of my life. I took the opportunity to take some extra classes, for the credits and time with my boyfriend. My parents were super strict so school was the only opportunity I had to spend with “J” aside from the few awkward visits to my house that were more like prison visitations. This was the summer that I lost my virginity. After we started exploring oral sex I was ready for the real thing. I had never watched porn. But I had a general idea.

The day before we planned to skip classes so that we could hang out. Our teacher didn’t show up the day of so we didn’t have to skip classes. In the morning there were about 20 students hanging out in the makeshift lunch area surrounded by bungalows. The green metal lunch tables were the best place to sprawl out with your friends but at 11:00am they were a ghost town. “J” and I sat in the area quiet. We sat facing each other, straddling the bench, talking. Before I knew it, I was mounting him, the first of many times. It was so exhilarating. We could have gotten caught like his friend did with her boyfriend in the chemistry lab. But we didn’t. It was destiny!

For the next 10 months, we practiced voyeurism. I didn’t even know that was a thing. The school bus, locker room, men’s restroom at the local community college, homeroom…I could go on and on. Eventually things got boring for me, too serious for him. When he mentioned getting married, that’s when I knew it was time to break up. Plus I had found another cock to ride…that I wanted to ride. I am not a cheater.

The next summer I got accepted into a program at UCLA for over achievers. I was so excited. “J” didn’t apply to the program so I wouldn’t have to see him the entire summer. Or so I thought. One day, walking on campus with my new friends I noticed  a familiar face staring at me through the crowd. “J” walked toward me, sweating profusely with a smile on his face.

“I missed you. So I took the bus.”

I just wanted him to go home. I couldn’t risk him being seen by the new guy that I was eyeing. We had a quick lunch before I rushed him on a bus, which I payed for. That evening I ended our relationship over AIM (for those that are too young, that’s a old messenger program through AOL).

Four weeks later I was in a new relationship with the guy that I was eyeing in summer school. “C” is probably the best boyfriend I’ve ever had (not compared to my fiance). He always reciprocated in every way. This is how I started to discover myself. We were at the movies, sitting in the back like every other teen couple. “C” slid his hand down my pants and into my undies. I felt a powerful feeling overcome my entire body, making me groan loudly. What is this?! “J” didn’t touch me like that!

Of course, this relationship did not last. We broke up. Had an affair, which involved Everclear, Xanax and a hotel by LAX. Don’t ask, but needless to say, things got CRAZY. However, “C” helped me discover the little man in the boat.

Fast forward nine years later, I found myself with a child and engaged. Very happy. All mommies know, if anything is stressed in your relationship, it’s your sex life after a child. Before, my significant other and I would have sex nearly everyday. There was a huge change! I know my fiance pleasures himself, life every man, admitted or not. My pent up sexual frustration was making me absolute BITCH. So I put on my big girl panties and purchased a vibrator. I felt like I went to IKEA, purchased the biggest contraption and was ready to build it…in the dark. I was that lost.

My new best friend? Google. I searched the internet top and bottom until I found a sight that I could trust. It provided me with more than enough information (didn’t know that pillow humping was a thing) to get me from point A to B. It took a few failed attempts before I discovered the key to my lock. Don’t be ashamed. Every woman is not the same and what works for me, may not work for you. But for me, masturbation is GREAT. Even though my fiance and I can’t always be intimate, I can take care of myself.

I’m a big girl now. 

High from Las Vegas By Jenna

las vegasLater this month I’m heading to Las Vegas for the first time as an adult; also, as a wife, mother, sister-in-law, and daughter-in-law. Basically, it’s a family vacation with the hope of doing a little partying at some point. My knee jerk reaction said, heck ya! Let’s go to Vegas as a family! This is going to be so awesome! Now that we have booked our rooms and planned our trip, I have to plan for my love and use of cannabis.

I have a few barriers to being able to enjoy smoking in Las Vegas. First, my family, other than my spouse, do not know I smoke marijuana, especially not on a daily basis. Second, my family has a very negative opinion of marijuana and don’t like the smell. Lastly, cannabis laws are still progressing in Nevada and it is legal to smoke, but you must smoke in your private residence. The hotels are not private residences. There is the possibility of being charged a rather inconvenient cleaning fee. So, if I can’t smoke outside safely, and I can’t smoke inside safely, then what am I going to do?

Edibles! Duh! I’ve been experimenting with a few edibles to see what I like for taste, what has a good high, what is way too much, and what my best options are for ingesting cannabis.

The range of edibles I tried focused around what is easiest to take with me to Vegas. I grabbed a brownie, a few jolly ranchers, some sour straws, an energy bar, and an energy drink. I love brownies! They are usually my medium of choice when I am making my own special brownies, however the dosage for the brownie purchased at my local dispensary was far too high and I ended up throwing up my lunch and the brownie. The jolly ranchers are easy and provided a regular edible high. I only ate half the jolly rancher to see the quantity I like. Remember, when it comes to edibles you can always take more later. I loved the sour straws! They were fun to eat because they were rainbow stripped, and the dosage was easy to portion. The energy bar was too dry and the dosage wasn’t easy to save. The energy drink was one of my top favorites as well. I got an orange flavor and I couldn’t taste marijuana at all, it was really delicious. The cannabis entered my bloodstream quickly and it gave a nice high.

Overall, I think I’m going to take the energy drink because I can keep it in a cooler. I am also taking the jolly and sour straws because they are easy to hide and easy to portion. I am ready for Vegas knowing I will be safely using medicinal cannabis.

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