But…do I?

Friday, one of my best friends married the love of his life. Seeing them celebrate their step into holy matrimony made me think, Where is my happily ever after?

In 2013 I met my significant other while taking classes at a local community college. Five years late, we’re parents and simply stuck into a routine. As working parents know, it’s very easy to fall into a pattern as the days go by in the blink of an eye but I had goals. I wanted to have my bachelors degree by 25, Married by 28, and children around 30. Life doesn’t always go as planned so it went more like college dropout by 21, child by 24 and no direction in life. Usually, it takes no more than a good episode of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ for me to begin planning my perfect wedding. But this time was different. I asked myself “Is marriage really for you?”.

My parents, though highly disfunctional, have been married for over 40 years. Growing up, I was apart of a close knit family so all I know is the strong marriage dynamic. My significant other, on the opposite end of the spectrum, lived in a home where his parents were never together, though they are married. His father is Mexican, believing that a man can do as he pleases, with whom he pleases while his wife raises the children and struggles with mental health problems among other things; the typical machismo. Until we started seeing each other, he’d never thought about getting married; marriage does not work!

I love my significant other but when it comes to making me a priority, he falls short. I’m not one to make excuses so I won’t start now. He takes care of his mom who suffers from a number of mental health issues in addition to ulcerative colitis and osteoporosis. She also speaks very limited English, doesn’t know how to drive, and is separated from his father. When we first got together I knew this was the situation. It wasn’t so bad because I had my own apartment while he held a place for him and his mom, though he was at my place majority of the time. Life got rough and I ended up losing my apartment and was forced to move in with them. It wasn’t until then I began to see the true hierarchy in our new family.

My mother in law is Queen Elizabeth on steroids. When she says jump, he asks how high. At first, I felt bad for her. Then I realized, she is a demanding B-I-T-C-H sometimes. It’s not her that’s the problem ultimately, it’s her son. He forgets everyone and everything when his mom calls upon him, which is more often than not. Even after we had our baby, it turned into having two babies.

GOD! WHEN DOES IT STOP!

I reached a breaking point when I lost a much-needed job because he wanted me to choose to help take her to her doctor appointments. Major bummer especially with a preemie infant. I bit the bullet. I declined the job offer. Did that get me any recognition or brownie points? No sir. It was the beginning of my depression; depression that lasted for two years, on and off.

My moment of liberation was re-enrolling into college. I’ve been taking college classes since I was 15 years old but I have NEVER declared a major. I boasted to my family over Thanksgiving dinner 2009 about how I was a pre-med biology student, I was going to be a neurologist. STRAIGHT PAID! BIG BILLS ONLY! Little did I know, three semester later I would receive a certified letter from the Dean of my college informing me that due to subpar grades I’d lost my financial aid and I was being put on academic suspension aka getting kicked out of college. I had failed.

Six years later, I find myself at the precipice of nursing school. I met with a counselor at my local community college who informed me that I only need to take four classes before applying to the nursing program. Taking all of those classes in high school really paid off for me in the end, especially since my math requirement was met by a class that I took in 10th grade. Before applying to the program, I must complete Chemistry, Anatomy and Physiology, Microbiology, and English; the mountain in the distance was a hill.

My focus since has been on self-growth, which is hard when you are in a serious relationship. I am important. How will my daughter ever understand the importance of being an independent strong woman if I can’t do it myself? With this came with many thoughts, including property ownership. I’m not currently married, my career is about to take front seat next to my daughter, of course.

Does that leave room for marriage? The horse and carriage? Am I becoming one of those progressive, feminist that neglects the home for the advancement of her career, or so the story goes? No. I’m improving myself for my childs future. 

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Touch my Body By Leigh

It took me 26 years to discover masturbation. I grew up in a world where ‘jerking off’ was common knowledge. The girl version was unheard of; thought it was impossible until I was in my early teens. It never really crossed my pubescent mind to explore my newly developing body. It wasn’t until I had my child that rubbing one out became appealing. My normally active sex life came to a halt!

In 9th grade, I met “J”,my first, while hanging out with my friends before homeroom. He was a short, stocky, fair skinned boy. I say boy not in reference to his sex but in reference to his maturity. Stuck in the middle of my newest faze, I thought his flaming metrosexuality was the exactly what I needed in my emo kid life. He loved me for who I was: the black girl in the tripp pants with the black lips and nails. “J “ was such a sweet guy. It was destined to crash and burn. Oh did I forget to mention he was a Jehovah’s Witness on top of everything. Looking back on it, he liked me because I was a bad girl. Maybe bad isn’t the right word…I don’t know but I was doing all the inappropriate stuff that the other girls weren’t, only with him. I would see all the guys standing around dapping him up when we would get off the bus after my latest “Oops! I dropped my earring!” stunt. I didn’t mind him sharing stories to stimulate their little perverse minds. I was a good girlfriend. I guess this is where I started building the idea “I’m a giver, not a receiver”.

Summer school between 9th and 10th grade was the best time of my life. I took the opportunity to take some extra classes, for the credits and time with my boyfriend. My parents were super strict so school was the only opportunity I had to spend with “J” aside from the few awkward visits to my house that were more like prison visitations. This was the summer that I lost my virginity. After we started exploring oral sex I was ready for the real thing. I had never watched porn. But I had a general idea.

The day before we planned to skip classes so that we could hang out. Our teacher didn’t show up the day of so we didn’t have to skip classes. In the morning there were about 20 students hanging out in the makeshift lunch area surrounded by bungalows. The green metal lunch tables were the best place to sprawl out with your friends but at 11:00am they were a ghost town. “J” and I sat in the area quiet. We sat facing each other, straddling the bench, talking. Before I knew it, I was mounting him, the first of many times. It was so exhilarating. We could have gotten caught like his friend did with her boyfriend in the chemistry lab. But we didn’t. It was destiny!

For the next 10 months, we practiced voyeurism. I didn’t even know that was a thing. The school bus, locker room, men’s restroom at the local community college, homeroom…I could go on and on. Eventually things got boring for me, too serious for him. When he mentioned getting married, that’s when I knew it was time to break up. Plus I had found another cock to ride…that I wanted to ride. I am not a cheater.

The next summer I got accepted into a program at UCLA for over achievers. I was so excited. “J” didn’t apply to the program so I wouldn’t have to see him the entire summer. Or so I thought. One day, walking on campus with my new friends I noticed  a familiar face staring at me through the crowd. “J” walked toward me, sweating profusely with a smile on his face.

“I missed you. So I took the bus.”

I just wanted him to go home. I couldn’t risk him being seen by the new guy that I was eyeing. We had a quick lunch before I rushed him on a bus, which I payed for. That evening I ended our relationship over AIM (for those that are too young, that’s a old messenger program through AOL).

Four weeks later I was in a new relationship with the guy that I was eyeing in summer school. “C” is probably the best boyfriend I’ve ever had (not compared to my fiance). He always reciprocated in every way. This is how I started to discover myself. We were at the movies, sitting in the back like every other teen couple. “C” slid his hand down my pants and into my undies. I felt a powerful feeling overcome my entire body, making me groan loudly. What is this?! “J” didn’t touch me like that!

Of course, this relationship did not last. We broke up. Had an affair, which involved Everclear, Xanax and a hotel by LAX. Don’t ask, but needless to say, things got CRAZY. However, “C” helped me discover the little man in the boat.

Fast forward nine years later, I found myself with a child and engaged. Very happy. All mommies know, if anything is stressed in your relationship, it’s your sex life after a child. Before, my significant other and I would have sex nearly everyday. There was a huge change! I know my fiance pleasures himself, life every man, admitted or not. My pent up sexual frustration was making me absolute BITCH. So I put on my big girl panties and purchased a vibrator. I felt like I went to IKEA, purchased the biggest contraption and was ready to build it…in the dark. I was that lost.

My new best friend? Google. I searched the internet top and bottom until I found a sight that I could trust. It provided me with more than enough information (didn’t know that pillow humping was a thing) to get me from point A to B. It took a few failed attempts before I discovered the key to my lock. Don’t be ashamed. Every woman is not the same and what works for me, may not work for you. But for me, masturbation is GREAT. Even though my fiance and I can’t always be intimate, I can take care of myself.

I’m a big girl now. 

Caution: Peacock Crossing

IMG_8910Our trip to the Los Angeles Arboretum was as exciting and adventurous as we were hoping. It’s nice to be able meet up with other Cannamommies and their families. This past Sunday, we drove to Arcadia for the annual exotic plant and fern sale. Though the event itself was a bit lackluster (maybe Saturday was the busier day), we had the entire arboretum to explore.

IMG_9068IMG_9029The Los Angeles arboretum is host to millions of plants organized by place of origin. You’d be surprised how many plants we see everyday are from a far region of the world that we’ll probably never visit. This is thanks to the Mediterranean climate in Southern California. Comprised of 127 acres, the arboretum is located on a remaining portion of the Rancho Santa Anita, one of the Mexican land grants of Southern California. The extensive history of the arboretum makes it that more special to the thousands of guests that visit each year.

IMG_9066IMG_9038Opened in 1947, the arboretum has become a host to a variety of animals as well. Never seen a peacock? This is the place to go. We encountered at least 30, in different stages of maturity, between the parking lot and plant sale. They are in such an abundance in the area that they have ‘Peacock crossing’ signs making drivers aware of their presence. Don’t worry, they are accustomed to humans. There was a beautiful community of jack rabbits that were patient enough to let the kids get a closer look. This is something that I loved; it was so kid friendly…minus all of the walking. This is where you want to go if you have a 10k step goal!

IMG_9028IMG_9040Baldwin Lake is dried up, which was unfortunate. The waterfall was wonderful though! It felt fresh and the short hike up the stairs was worth the view. We ate at the Peacock Cafe, the cheeseburger was surprisingly delicious. We also got a quick quesadilla for the littles and a salad for the dieting momma (who stole a bite of the cheeseburger and fries). The cafe does catering as well because there are always weddings and photo sessions at the Arboretum.

IMG_9021IMG_9023We didn’t get to cover the whole map in one day, so we get to go back a few times. Considering the price is $9 per adult, and parking is free, this is an awesome day trip! I definitely recommend taking a fat rip before heading into the Arboretum!

aandjLike us? Check us out on Instagram @420somewherela

High from Las Vegas By Jenna

las vegasLater this month I’m heading to Las Vegas for the first time as an adult; also, as a wife, mother, sister-in-law, and daughter-in-law. Basically, it’s a family vacation with the hope of doing a little partying at some point. My knee jerk reaction said, heck ya! Let’s go to Vegas as a family! This is going to be so awesome! Now that we have booked our rooms and planned our trip, I have to plan for my love and use of cannabis.

I have a few barriers to being able to enjoy smoking in Las Vegas. First, my family, other than my spouse, do not know I smoke marijuana, especially not on a daily basis. Second, my family has a very negative opinion of marijuana and don’t like the smell. Lastly, cannabis laws are still progressing in Nevada and it is legal to smoke, but you must smoke in your private residence. The hotels are not private residences. There is the possibility of being charged a rather inconvenient cleaning fee. So, if I can’t smoke outside safely, and I can’t smoke inside safely, then what am I going to do?

Edibles! Duh! I’ve been experimenting with a few edibles to see what I like for taste, what has a good high, what is way too much, and what my best options are for ingesting cannabis.

The range of edibles I tried focused around what is easiest to take with me to Vegas. I grabbed a brownie, a few jolly ranchers, some sour straws, an energy bar, and an energy drink. I love brownies! They are usually my medium of choice when I am making my own special brownies, however the dosage for the brownie purchased at my local dispensary was far too high and I ended up throwing up my lunch and the brownie. The jolly ranchers are easy and provided a regular edible high. I only ate half the jolly rancher to see the quantity I like. Remember, when it comes to edibles you can always take more later. I loved the sour straws! They were fun to eat because they were rainbow stripped, and the dosage was easy to portion. The energy bar was too dry and the dosage wasn’t easy to save. The energy drink was one of my top favorites as well. I got an orange flavor and I couldn’t taste marijuana at all, it was really delicious. The cannabis entered my bloodstream quickly and it gave a nice high.

Overall, I think I’m going to take the energy drink because I can keep it in a cooler. I am also taking the jolly and sour straws because they are easy to hide and easy to portion. I am ready for Vegas knowing I will be safely using medicinal cannabis.

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