Home Sweet Home

By Jenna
I’m home sweet home! Las Vegas was an adventure that made me want to go back, or just stay there permanently. I even took the time to notice jobs that would be available. Yet, like all good things, it had to end. Now, I get to recollect my fondest memories for you lovely people! Also a few things to avoid doing.

 

Day 1 Wednesday night

Before heading out on our trip I got super elevated. Partly because I get car sick, and partly because I needed to readjust my attitude before leaving. The drive wasn’t long because we left on a Wednesday. Once I was out of California traffic, it was smooth sailing. The kiddos slept the first 2.5 hours, cried for about 40 minutes, then relaxed the rest of the way. As we came up, we decided to drive down the strip and see the lights instead of going straight to the hotel. I felt a bit lame that we didn’t do anything Wednesday night, but I have a two year old and one year old. We got to the Venetian Hotel at 11pm, so we were exhausted. The Venetian Hotel is absolutely beautiful! We had two queen beds, but what really set the Venetian apart is the sitting area. The room had a full couch, two large sitting chairs, a desk, a table, as well as the mini bar area. I didn’t want to leave that room because it was so comfortable. I even got to take a video of the classic jump onto a cushy bed. I want to be super excited about the strip view from our hotel, but the hotel that was in full view was a certain Trump hotel.

Day 2 Thursday

Breakfast was at the of the small restaurants in restaurant row. The food was amazing! We then threw on sunscreen and started walking the strip. Of course I stopped by Fat Tuesday for a frozen margarita! We didn’t get too far, but the walk got hotter the longer we were outside. We went back to the hotel to relax and get ready for the evening. We went to dinner at Cut by Wolfgang Puck for some wagyu filet! It was my father-in-law’s first time eating filet, he typically eats his steaks cooked completely. We also had, for the first time, pork butt cutlets. The worst part is the dish came with only 4 bites distributed among the adults, but those bites were heavenly! I ate them so quick I didn’t even get a picture! I was a bit surprised to be able to get a table without a reservation. I skipped dessert, to my dismay, because the little boy was ready to go, like 15 minutes ago. I had warned my husband that as soon as our steaks came out the baby would start being done, and I was right.

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Day 3 Friday

Friday we switched from the Venetian to Treasure Island Hotel so that the family could all be on the same floor. I had hoped to go swimming at Mandalay Bay because they have a lazy river that I was dying to enjoy. Since that didn’t happen as I had planned, we waited for everyone else to arrive and check into their rooms. Friday night was planned to be Guy’s Night. We had enough time before the guys took off to go to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. By the time we got there I was just tipsy and that made me have a great time! The guys departed from the women and children and proceeded to hit the town. I convinced my SILs and MIL to do at least one thing before turning in for the night. That one thing was to walk and see the fountains at the Bellagio. The show was beautiful as expected. This was one of those times when it was fun to have a kid because they were astounded by the show. The down side is the walk was hard on the kids and they saw pictures that made them ask questions. I ended staying awake until my husband got home at 5am.

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Day 4 Saturday

Saturday was surprisingly easy for how little sleep I achieved. My son woke me up at 7am! I don’t know how I was completely functional Saturday on less than 2 hours of sleep. We went to breakfast at Denny’s then back to the hotel because no one could agree on what we should do or where we should visit. My hope to visit a pool was let up and then dashed again as only a few people wanted to go, then no one wanted to go. I couldn’t go alone because my husband wasn’t functional, at all. We went back to the hotel and got all packed up to go to the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay. It was a cute little aquarium for the kids. Saturday night was Girl’s Night out and our first stop was the entire reason we were in Las Vegas. We had bought tickets to the Backstreet Boys concert at the Axis at Planet Hollywood. The concert was fantastic! I wasn’t excited to go but it ended up being exactly what I hoped for and needed. I was starving before hand though, which fell on deaf ears. I ate my only edible available which only got me high for 30- 45 minutes. That was the most disappointing edible EVER! After the concert we grabbed a quick bite at La Salsa Cantina, I would go here again. My youngest SIL was being drama queen, per usual, and didn’t want to go out anymore. She was the reason we were going out to start. I bought a round of shots in hope to improve her mood, to no avail. We then went to a bar with a DJ along the strip. She didn’t enjoy that either and immediately wanted to leave. We finally walked back to Senior Frogs. The walk was extra long because the girls didn’t want to listen to me about which bridge to cross. The youngest SIL was the only one wearing heels, so she suffered from the walk. At Senior Frogs I had a blast dancing with the two older SILs, but the youngest still was a stick in the mud. We finally retired from our night at 2am.

Day 5 Sunday

We packed up and headed out early. I grabbed food from Starbucks while the rest of the family went out to breakfast. I wanted to try and get a head start on the majority of traffic, and I was done with family time. It worked! We made the drive back in about 5 hours.

 

Next time I go to Vegas it will be with fewer people. I didn’t mind going with my kids, but I would wait for them to be old enough to stay the weekend with their grandparents. I wanted to go to the pool, but never was able, so that is still on my To Do List. I also didn’t get to eat at a buffet or try many drinks. I also wouldn’t go without the ability to smoke. I am an adult and absolutely can handle not smoking, but it helps with recovery from a night out. It also relaxes me so I can enjoy my time better.

Vegas! Here WE Come!

vegas-cannabis

By Jenna

Alrighty then! Update on my packing for Vegas trip while I smoke!

Today I am smoking on Skywalker. It is an indica that is super fresh and light. It isn’t super sticky, but it has an amazing smell!

I started my packing a few days early because I get super stressed and anxious (not the fun kind, the kind that makes you hyperventilate  and unable to focus), hence medicating.

So, a full three days in advance I made a list of everything I want to accomplish before we head out. It ranged from cleaning the kitchen table to getting the pets ready. I knew I wanted my apartment cleaned because my parents are checking in on my cat, Padme, while they babysit my dog, Evee. Ya, I know, I’m nerdy and named my pets after Star Wars and Pokemon. I also knew I needed to get all the clothes washed and packed before the day we actually leave.

Yesterday, I washed and packed all the clothes needed. My Littles are small so they only took one gym bag, while me and the hubby used the full space of my larger luggage. I am a pretty light packer in general. I also cleaned the house and prepared the dishes for the dishwasher. My hope and intention was to only leave a few pieces to the departure day.
Which brings us to today, I still have to pack the truck, but I needed to make a run to Target first! I spent more than expected, as usual. I still need to get the toiletries ready to go, but that has to wait until the hubby is showered. Man he stinks after coming home from work! That’s what happens when you fall for a hard working man.


I’ve also run into a larger problem. My father-in-law is coming with us on our Vegas vacation. He is staying in the room with us, and will basically be with us all the time. He can’t know I smoke cannabis. I tossing ideas with Leigh; she had a suggestion that warranted note. Leigh’s recommendation is to smoke in the bathroom with the shower on and a towel under the door. The water adheres to the smoke and draws it out of the air. This didn’t take away the issue of the smell, so I’m out of luck on that front. My best hope still remains with edibles. There is no smoking, I can eat it in public, the high lasts for HOURS, and I don’t smell. So, it is off to the dispensary for me, because I was lazy the last two days and didn’t go already!

I’ll post again upon my return! Viva Las Vegas!!!

 

 

Thanks for fucking mom! Father’s day edition

By Leigh

fathers

You know what really pisses me off?

Dad’s that refuse to help with their children.

I’m not talking about deadbeats, I’m talking about those that refuse to make a bottle, change a poop diaper, lose sleep if the baby is cranky at night, etc, because it’s a “woman’s job”.

When did this become a thing? I guess it’s always been a thing, it’s new to me because I always assumed that a child is a 50/50 responsibility. My dad took care of me my entire childhood. He was not stay at home dad. He worked 40+ a week and still found time to bring me lunch, pick me up, do homework and be an all around friend. I guess my dad is the last of the Mahicans. These days, asking a man to even help a little is nearly asking for WWIII.

Come on dads. Would it hurt to give mommy that over due break? I can hear all the men shout in unison “YES”.

After I had my daughter, I had really high expectations for what was to come in the following months. I created this image of me and my SO (significant other) working together as a team so that BOTH of us could rest.

Did that happen?

HELL NO.

From day one, it’s been a 90% solo bolo job. Don’t get me wrong, he is a great dad. But at 3am, when you wake the baby with your snoring, I expect you to deal with the monster. Not turn over for your second dream, leaving me to suffer through the night. Oh did I include that I too, like my SO, I work full time.

Am I just complaining?

I am lucky enough to have the father of my daughter in my life, I commend all of the women out there that are doing it on their own. Raising children is probably the hardest time in the world, but you’re doing it. Don’t let the world get you down, you are the shit! Happy mother’s day, part 2!

To all of the father’s out there, even if you don’t do as much as you should at home, thank you for being there.

To my own father, my road dog, my first love: Thank you for being awesome! Even though you complain and act crazy, I wouldn’t change you for the world. My crazy Mississippian! I love you dad!

If you are a dad and you aren’t in your child’s life, here’s a big FUCK YOU from all the mom’s around the world!

Happy Father’s Day!

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You wouldn’t know unless I told you

By Jenna

I love my husband. He is intelligent (which is sooo sexy), optimistic, encouraging, and much more. The best part is that he loves and accepts me for who I am. He doesn’t have a veil over his eyes about me. He sees my flaws, and shows me how I am perfect. He is my opposite in so many ways. I have tattoos and piercings, I cuss, I drank too young, I smoked too young, I dye my hair crazy colors, and I overall am an outspoken person. He is not. He has NEVER uttered a cuss word (his sisters are my proof from his childhood). He doesn’t care for tattoos or piercings on himself, he didn’t drink before age 21, and he never smoked anything. I love weed, him… he hates the smell. He swears he would partake if he could cover up the smell.

I know what you’re thinking… WTF?! How do they even live together? Well, I’ll tell you how we make it work. From the outside, you can’t tell I smoke weed. Ya, I have tattoos and dyed hair, but by talking to me, you’d never know.

I keep my husband and marriage happy with one simple rule:

Clean the fuck up!

I have a full routine each time I smoke. So, without further adieu, here is how I trick the world and keep my hubby happy.

Step 1 – Get HIGH!

Roll Mr.J or two, pack a bowl, however you toke, get that ganja lit!

We good? You got that part down, huh? Yea, me too! Ok, let’s go to the next step.

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STEP 2 – Visine Ya’ll

Cherry eyes is cute, unless you need to convince a disapproving mother-in-law that you aren’t one of the evil people that smokes “Marijuana” (in the best Mexican accent I can muster). I’ve seen a post about a chick that does it before she smokes and after, I really think that is overkill. Once after you smoke is all you really need, until you smoke again. Ok, our eyes are clear, next step.

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STEP 3 – The Fast Wash

I keep a Dove bar soap on the sink because they are lightly scented and have done well in the past to combat my super oily skin. I also have used the soft soaps, but they don’t seem to do as well for my skin. Do a quick wash of my hands and face to get that sticky off. I don’t usually wear make-up, so the face washing isn’t an issue for me. For you beautiful people who enjoy decorating yourself, you can purchase the Clean & Clear oil absorbing sheets. Blot the oil away from your face without smudging your fantastic face painting. If I was better at applying make-up I would likely wear it more often. 

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STEP 3.5 – Brush Your Teeth 

I say this is 3.5 because I’m already at the sink. Brush your damn teeth, you probably don’t do it often enough anyway. If you can remember, floss too and your dentist bill will thank you. All of this feels so awesome while high! Brushing my teeth and washing my face makes sure I get lots of extra kisses from my honey.

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STEP 4 – Body Spray

I had to experiment with perfumes and body sprays. I love the smell of flowers, but in perfumes they smell like my grandma. I choose a fruity smell because they can be powerful enough to cover up my Cannabis flower smell. I found a body spray that does the job, but it is still not as strong as perfume. Yes, that is a Jessica Simpson perfume. 

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All of my actual clean up steps take maybe 5 minutes and make a difference to my honey. He can’t smell Mary Jane on me and I get extra loves. So, there you have it, I can trick the world into thinking I’m not a stoner and make my marriage a little less stressful. Do you have a routine that I should try? Let me know, I might do a video in your honor, shout out included!]

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